Lt. Col. Frederick, good morning, sir.
We're a bit late, sir. Could you hurry, please, sir?
The Allies were in trouble...
... and so was I, that summer of 1942, when I arrived in England...
... on what I was sure was a fool's errand.
I'd come from Washington to explain the US Army's strong opposition...
... to one of Lord Mountbatten's favorite projects.
I'd written the army's critical report in what I thought was plain English.
I was puzzled and annoyed at being sent 4,000 miles to say it all over again...
... particularly to Lord Mountbatten himself.
You've never held a field command, have you?
- No, sir. - No combat experience?
No, sir.
By virtue of what special knowledge...
...do you so dogmatically damn our plan of action?
You propose, in a period of four months...
...to recruit a unit, half-Canadian, half-American...
...and drop them in Norway in the middle of winter.
You have a new snow machine.
What kind of officers and men will you recruit?
How will they be trained, organized and equipped?
Your plan doesn't say.
The most important thing is, once you get them there...
...how are you going to get them out?
There's been no provision made for that.
We're not unaware of the problems, Colonel.
Nevertheless, we're going ahead with the project.
If you've already made your decision, what am I doing here?
- Thank you, Colonel. - Let's go, Bob.
Gentlemen, I think we've found our commanding officer.
If he'll take it.
He's more likely to throw it right back in your face.
Care to bet?
So you left Washington for this, Colonel?
Don't move, Colonel.
Why in the hell did you have to shoot him?
You see, sir, we didn't feel like waiting around till it starved to death.
Now, look, Captain.
That kind of smart-ass talk don't go good with me at all.
You just be careful of that kind of talk.
Col. Frederick. Maj. Cliff Bricker, sir.
I started to collect snakes, caught one yesterday.
I've got 'em in my footlocker in my room.
You're interested in herpetology.
You like snakes.
I hate 'em. Scared to death of them. That's the reason I joined the paratroops.
See, I hated to fly. Scared to death of jumping.
But after 50 jumps, I just loved it.
Danger, Colonel, that's the best tonic there is.
That's the reason I put in for Special Forces.
Major, when you address me, take the cigar out of your mouth.
This is my office, Major.
The name of this outfit is the First Special Service Force.
- Where were you when I arrived? - There was nothing to do here, sir.
We decided to go in town and look around.
A blind man could see a thousand things to do.
Sir, you being in Washington, you haven't been around like me.
You see, I've been in nine different camps.
I've got to tell you this, sir.
Never have I seen anything so out-of-the-question hopeless...
...as this joint is.
There's absolutely nothing it doesn't need.
"Hopeless."
That's why we've got it, Major.
And that's why I've got you.
You've been in and out of camps...
...because you're the biggest hustler and scrounger in the US Army.
In exactly 10 days, our first recruits and volunteers arrive.
Whatever they and this camp need, you're going to supply.
How you do it, I don't care.
Just start hustling. Cardwell?
Move it! Come on!
Line them up on the double! Move!
Come on! This is no Sunday school picnic!
Move it! Come on!
You think maybe somebody somewhere has it in for our peerless leader here?
The summer I worked in a fish cannery, we threw away better material than this.
Come on, you men, move!
Hate to break up the game, fellas, but when my country calls...
Cut it out!
- Trouble, grease ball? - I told you, don't call me that.
What would you like me to call you? "Hotshot hustler," "Senor sharpshooter"...
...or just plain "punk"?
Watch it. Here he comes.
- You heard him. Line up! - What's going on here?
Not a thing, buddy boy. Not a blessed thing.
Pick up that hat and put it on, soldier!
And I warn you, don't you give me any trouble.
Break it up!
Get that man!
Break it up!
We're going to try to make some kind of a company formation out of this.
What are we doing up there?
I got stomach gas real bad.
I think I can cure that.
Ten hut!
Thanks for waiting, fellas. Sorry I'm late.
Don't you know how to fall in, soldier? Fill up this spot.
Ten hut!
Detail all present and accounted for, sir.
I regret their behavior, but that's the nature of the beast.
"Beast."
That's why they were transported like cattle?
Sir, some them are so fouled up, they must have emptied...
...every stockade in the country.
If I were you, I'd ship them right back. What the hell's the army doing?
Just about what I expected. Since you're not me...
...would you see that they get to camp, please?
Yes, sir. Captain.
A-ten hut!
- Lieutenant. - Yes, sir.
We're told that men evolved from lower animals.
Apparently, you think it should be the other way around. That's all.
Right face!
Forward! March!
Hut, two, three, four!
Your left.
Soldier, get those dark glasses off.
- Where's your gear, fly boy? - Seems I neglected to bring it with me.
Listen to the sugar plum. He neglected to bring it with him.
You look a mite neglected yourself. How come I didn't see you on the train?
I'm the inconspicuous type.
- Listen to him. Ain't he cute? - Leave him alone, lard ass.
- You're asking for it, dago, you really are. - Knock off the chatter, and get in step!
How about it? Got a cure for that, Sergeant?
Yes, sir. Double time! March!
- That's the name of the game. - What's your name, Luckhouse Louie?
Listen, we're not sharks in the game. Luck's got nothing to do with it.
- Talkin' about luck, know how I got here? - Who cares?
A sweet young thing in San Jose says I raped her...
...takes all my money, every cent, and blows the whistle on me.
They give me five years in Leavenworth, or join this fearless fighting outfit.
- How's that for luck? - Yeah, it's a great country.
Every slob can get clipped, whipped, and double dipped at the same time.
Beat your gums, dago. Beat 'em till they bleed.
I'm out $6.
Now, come on, deal the cards, damn it.
The only way out of here is over.
By balloon or P-38?
Did you ever hear of Bernheimer's world-renowned circus?
What about the Flying Greco Brothers?
Hold still, right?
- I'll be damned. - Omar Greco.
- They call me Bronc. - All right, Bronc.
My real name's Bronco Billy Guthrie.
- How many times you made it out? - About five.
Bronc, I got a system, but I need a partner.
Let's hear about your system...
...partner.
All right. Come on.
If I'm gonna make it...
- Anybody question the requisitions? - No, sir. It was a breeze.
We even got a wave-on from the guard.
Beautiful.
That's just fine. Great. You guys get them around back fast.
Next trip, the toilet bowls.
All right, big mouth, that did it.
- Wait a minute. It was all my fault. - Butt out!
Get him!
On your feet, dago. You got more comin'.
Change direction right!
Right wheel.
Mark time in front.
Canadian company...
...halt.
Left turn.
Maj. Crown, sir. Canadian army. Reporting for duty.
Glad to have you with us, Crown.
Ready, company...
Capt. Cardwell, get these men into formation on the double.
Sergeant, company formation on the double.
Company formation over here and on the double, let's go!
Come on, move it. On the double.
God save the King.
God save us all.
Parade rest!
Welcome to the First Special Service Force.
There's only one really important thing to know and remember about the force.
It's the easiest combat unit in the army...
...to get out of.
All you have to do is fail to measure up.
You'll be returned immediately to your former unit...
...or predicament.
It's entirely up to you.
You Canadians, I'm told...
...are the handpicked best of the best-trained army in the world.
We'll soon find out about that.
You Americans, for the most part...
...have an entirely different reputation.
I've been supplied with full details on your military and moral delinquencies...
...prison records, how many times you've been drunk...
...AWOL or both.
I know all about you...
...and I couldn't care less.
I want men that are tough...
...love to fight, fight to win, and would rather die than quit.
Now, that's asking a lot...
...but no more than you're capable of if you'll accept the challenge.
We'll soon find out about that, too.
Good luck to you all. Dismiss your men.
Company, ten hut!
- Fall out! - Cpl. Peacock!
- Fall out the Canadians. - Yes, sir!
Canadian company dismissed!
- Can you believe that? - Lend me your hat. I may vomit.
- Sir... - You, soldier.
- Where are you going? - Sir, I've got to see the Colonel.
If you ever hope to see the outside world again...
...get back where you belong.
I don't belong anywhere. I'm AWOL from Camp Gillam.
I escaped from the stockade. I didn't arrive on the train, I walked.
- I want to transfer to this outfit. - Get!
Soldier!
- In my office. - Thank you, sir.
Phone his camp. Find out all about him.
I'll be in Communications. Let me know.
- Excuse me, haven't we met before? - Get the hell outta here!
It's just that you remind me of a sweet young thing I used to know.
I won't tell you again, mate.
Even sound like her.
Corporal, sir, you've got a beautiful group of handpicked men here.
- You really do. - Bugger off.
Where I come from, the only thing we pick by hand...
...is little yellow daffodils.
Where we come from, we pick the rotten apples from the barrel...
...and feed them to the hogs.
Listen. One of them's a frog! Go ahead. Say something, froggy!
Merde.
Just exactly what does that mean?
To most people, it's an insult.
But to you, I'd say it was a compliment.
- Peacock! - Sir!
- Yes, sir. - Peacock!
- At ease. - Thank you, sir.
Long walk from Camp Gillam.
You must be more than ordinarily eager to join the First Special Service Force.
Any job that's open, sir.
Or get out of any trouble that you happen to be in.
You know, the one thing I have excess of here is the troublemaker.
Yes, sir.
But if I heard your speech correctly, sir, I think you've got the answer.
Incite border warfare, so to speak...
...between the Americans and Canadians.
I only assume that was your intention, sir.
- What kind of trouble do you make? - I play the piano, sir.
When I washed out as a flier, I was assigned to Capt. Quill.
He runs the Officers' Club.
I was to clean up during the day and play piano at night.
I didn't much fancy sitting out the war playing I'll Never Smile Again...
...so I asked to be transferred to Intelligence.
That should be a perfect spot for you.
You're obviously intelligent, perceptive, adroit.
Thank you, sir.
...and calculating.
How did Capt. Quill fancy your playing around with his girlfriend?
The girl he thought was his girlfriend, sir.
I thought otherwise. He won the argument.
- So he beat you up. - Not all by himself...
Don't lie to me!
I have all the facts.
You're charged with striking an officer.
Capt. Quill asked you to stay away from his girl, you attacked him...
...and his men had to use clubs to subdue you.
I'm not crazy enough to strike an officer.
Sir, if you send me back, Quill could keep me in prison for the rest of my life.
Yes, I know.
Don't calculate that you can con your way in here.
- You read me correctly? - Yes, sir.
I'm sorry to have bothered you, sir. Thank you, sir.
Ransom, did I give you permission to leave?
No, sir.
What's this?
When you beat somebody up, that's a good way to play safe, isn't it?
Tie his hands behind his back.
Bricker!
- Yes, sir? - Get this man a uniform.
You've got to be kidding!
The uniforms have been ordered, sir. But nobody knows...
Get him something decent to wear. He smells.
Yes, sir.
That's all.
Sir.
I promise you, you won't be sorry.
If I am, I promise you, you'll be a lot more sorry.
Yes, sir.
Those bastards!
- Something on your mind, Major? - Yes, sir, there sure is.
We're making a big mistake going soft on the kind of gorillas we got here.
- Did you say "gorillas"? - Not the Canucks, the Americans.
"Canucks," Major, is a term we consider disparaging.
Do you have a specific complaint, Major?
Yes, sir, I sure as hell do.
One of those stupid jerks out there broke into my room...
...and stole my rattlesnake.
- Your what? - Rattlesnake.
Maybe they don't allow them in Canada.
We destroy them, we don't sleep with them.
Nobody likes a promiscuous rattlesnake, Captain.
I can assure you, none of my men would steal a rattlesnake...
...or anything else.
My men are under strict orders.
Anyone discrediting the Canadian uniform is subject to immediate court-martial.
Among other restrictions, they're specifically forbidden to fight.
I suggest, sir, you consider a similar order.
- Do you have a complaint, Major? - I don't mean to belittle the Americans.
What do you mean?
There have been numerous attempts by your men to provoke my men.
And unless they're ordered to stop, there could be serious trouble.
- You really think so? - I know so, sir.
- We'll have to watch that, won't we? - Yes, sir.
How did a friendly little fellow like you get the name of "Ornery"?
Henri. It's French for Henry.
You got yourself a nice little piece here, Ornery.
They say them French girls know all kinds of tricks.
Give me that, you espece de salaud!
Ain't that a purty language?
Sure is marvelous sharing quarters with you Canucks.
- Yeah, what's so marvelous about it? - Now, let me think...
Bronc, this man is one of the handpicked best, right, Corporal?
Thank God they're our friends.
Imagine what would happen if we fought against them.
We could take Canada in two weeks, if we wanted it.
- Right, Manella? - More like two days.
Is that a fact?
- Just you try it, mate! - Back!
Good thing your wife wasn't under there.
Now, you listen to me, you dirty-mouthed buggers!
I'm not one to pull rank, but if there's any more of your filthy talk...
...or your foul, rotten tricks, you'll pay for it.
Now, is that clear?
Right. This man is right. Let's cut it out.
- Very sorry, Corporal. - It won't happen again, Corporal.
Very well, then.
Sweet dreams, Corporal.
Fall in.
We have very little time to determine...
...who is and who is not qualified...
...for the difficult job assigned to this unit.
The training continues today with a 30-mile hike.
Normally, you would carry a full pack and a rifle.
I regret to say that our weapons and much of our equipment...
...have not yet arrived.
We shall therefore have to do without them.
However, we do have rucksacks...
...which are loaded with 50 pounds of rocks.
Each man, each officer, and each unit...
- He's got to be kidding. - Don't you wish?
Corporal.
"Yankee doodle went to town, riding on a pony
"Stuck a feather in his hat, and he called it macaroni"
- Peacock? - Yes, sir.
Your stripes are not a license to behave like an ass.
No more derogatory behavior or insulting remarks to the Yanks.
- Is that clear? - Yes, sir.
There will be no more derogatory insults about the Yanks!
Is that clear?
Would ordinary insults be acceptable, sir?
Sir, what am I going to do about my men? They're a bunch of eight balls.
Half of them, if they don't belong in jail, should be put in a loony bin.
- How many of them keep pet rattlesnakes? - Sir?
How many of them have been in and out of nine different camps?
Would you like to try for 10, Major? It's very easy.
All right, now, look alive. I know this is in route-step, but shape up.
I see you circling up there, and I know who you're following, too.
Fifteen miles back.
"The contents of this can are not fit for human consumption."
- Maj. Crown? - Sir?
The Canadians seem to be in better condition than I expected.
That's very good of you to say so, sir.
"Very good of you to say so, sir. Thank you, sir."
Bunch of gung-ho volunteers, they give me the galloping trots.
I can't make it.
- I just can't make it. - The hell you can't.
Anybody quits gets his head broke.
- What's wrong with him? - Nothing, sir.
Double hernia, slight heart attack, otherwise he's fine.
Don't be smart, pretty boy.
- Everybody's fine, sir. - Just don't drop out.
Canadian company, double time!
American company, attention!
Double time! Hard!
Come on, faster.
Keep up with them. Don't let them win.
Come on, get that bugger!
Run, boy, run!
Go get him, Omar.
- Well done, lad. Good try. - You all right?
You! Runt!
That was great work, soldier.
That was a silly-ass thing to do.
I was just trying to return your favor, sir.
Now?
- You mean about getting out? - Yeah.
Look, Bronc, I've been doing a lot of thinking.
You said it yourself, remember, that they always get you?
This time, they could put me away for the duration.
It's just not worth it.
You've got your knife, I'll give you half of this.
You won it. You keep it.
When you get it lighted, I'll tell you what to do with it.
Bronc, listen, what if I help you get out?
What good'll that do?
Bronc, will you take this?
I don't even smoke.
It's very bad for the wind.
- Who is it? - Maj. Crown, sir.
Come in.
Our chemists came up with this, sir. It's the best thing I know of for sore feet.
Thank you. I don't need it.
Is that all?
You paid our men a compliment today, sir. I'd like to reciprocate.
Your men performed better than I expected.
- My men? - The Yanks, sir.
Major, please understand, I command the entire brigade...
...Canadians and Americans.
Yes, sir.
What I don't understand is, sir...
...why are you pitting them against each other?
I have less than four months left to convert this misbegotten outfit...
...into the Army's finest combat unit.
I haven't time to explain or justify every move I make.
Yes, sir.
But I might point out, sir, that many of my men fought...
Many of the Canadian unit fought at Dunkirk.
So?
So, it's just possible, sir, you might want to learn a lesson...
...from their combat experience.
Yes, I might...
...if you'd won at Dunkirk. You lost.
I'm training this outfit to win. Good night, Major.
We lost, yes.
In a most bloody awful fashion, we lost.
But from that loss, I learned a lesson...
...the danger of assuming the role of almighty God.
When the day of reckoning arrives, as mine arrived at Dunkirk...
...I can assure you, Colonel, it can be a most sorry day, indeed.
That's it, boys.
Come on, move it. Let's go.
Keep it moving. Faster than that. That's it.
That's it, Canadians. Keep it moving. Don't get your feet wet, soldiers.
Get going, Americans.
Bronco, you got a sharp knife?
Sharp enough.
What do you say, Peacock? You ready? Nobody can see your stripes now.
- I know you're yellow. - Cpl. Peacock.
Sir?
You never looked better, Peacock.
- All right, next man on the line. - All right, soldier.
Heard enough out of you, let's go. Move it.
Keep it going. Come on, move out.
Capt. Cardwell tells me you spoke to him about a man named O'Neill.
- Is he capable? - He's capable enough to recommend, sir.
However, if you question my judgment, you could try him.
I'm a new man here. You'll not object if I join you?
You don't need all that space...
...even with that enormous fat behind of yours.
God in heaven, you're not going to eat that entire nauseating mess?
Small wonder you're such a monstrous tub of lard.
Is it true that all you Yanks are thieves and murderers?
There's one of you that's worse than all the rest...
...a villainous clod who never ceases...
...derogatory remarks about the Canadians.
Mind the elbow, lad.
Would one of you be kind enough to point out...
...the contemptible swine named Rocky Rockman?
You have just two seconds to make a public apology.
- What? - Time's up.
You can't. We're under orders.
If you disgrace your uniform, you'll be court-martialed.
Lad, it's his uniform I propose to disgrace.
Now, sit down.
The human body has numerous vulnerable points:
The elbow, the ribs, the neck...
...including...
...the solar plexus and many other points.
It's true, you're a great, powerful beast.
But you'll note how his own size and weight...
...can be used against him.
Name: Sgt. Patrick O'Neill.
Title: Hand-to-hand combat instructor.
Further instruction will commence tomorrow...
...07:00, on the parade ground.
Could you pass the salt, please?
Thank you.
You're right, he's capable.
I hope, Major, that you won't punish him for disobeying orders.
It was my impression he was following your orders, sir.
More coffee?
I don't mind if I do. Thank you.
And twist.
Try it.
All right, let's have a go at it.
In a situation like that, you do this, you see?
The collarbones are very easy to break. Now watch.
See? Try that.
Good.
Your stance is more like this.
Look, Major, this is what I understand.
- Whatever you understand. - You really want me to stick you?
Whatever you want to do.
- I wasn't quite ready. - I already did it once.
- Try that again, Major. - You gotta be...
As you can see, Maj. Crown's an expert, sir.
Put your hands up like this.
Move your feet a little bit the other way.
That's the way. All right, now.
- Good work, Greco, keep it up. - Keep it up? Keep what up?
No!
You clumsy moose!
Listen, you smart dago, you ran into me.
- Great, man. Just great. - Show them the way, Canadians.
Well done, Crown.
I can't say the same for your men, Major. What are you gonna do about it?
- The men are tired, sir. They need a rest. - They can rest after the war is over.
Keep going until they're as good as the Canadians.
You want a weekend pass, you'll work for it.
Let's go back up the hill one more time. Now, let's see if we can do it right.
I've never seen anything so lousy in my entire life.
Competition has its use, sir, but doesn't it concern you?
The men may hate each other more than they do the enemy.
Major, your concern and mine is to get them ready to meet the enemy.
Yes, sir.
Proud beauty, why don't you sit down and have a drink...
...with some nice, clean-cut American boys?
Where are they? I don't see them.
Fraternizing with the Canucks comes under the heading of treason.
All right.
- You can't fight nature. - Just what's that supposed to mean?
Miss Kleinschmidt's a lady.
Ladies associate with gentlemen, not baboons.
Take it easy, man-mountain. You've got all night, my friend.
I'm in a hurry.
When this bottle is empty...
...l'm gonna break it over his head, and then I'm gonna wipe him out.
How come a big man like you thinks so small?
Let's wipe out the whole mother-loving bunch.
Now you're talking.
- All right! - Come on, let's do it!
I got dibs on Peacock.
That pretty Peacock is mine.
Wunderbar.
Somebody put a nickel in the jukebox, and turn off that dame.
I love you.
Now you owe me a drink.
Fellas. We better beat it.
- What do you speak? Eskimo? - I said, "You owe me a drink."
You'll get that drink, Eskimo, the minute hell freezes.
Who do you think you are?
All right, Henri, let it pass. Come on, move down the bar.
Give them some room now.
Get over here.
Look who we got here.
- Millie, baby! - Here, your petticoat's showing.
Millie, who's your girlfriend? Who does what to who?
- It's optional, mate. - Shut your big, ugly face.
- Come on! - Look, now you put me down!
- Don't be so particular. - Can't you take a hint, mate?
I can eat a dozen chickens like you alive.
Look, we're here for a good time, the same as you.
Let's not spoil it. What're you gonna have to drink? Bartender!
We'll buy our own drinks.
You've got a hell of a nerve barging in here, takin' our broads.
- Any of you guys invite 'em? - No!
- I can't stand Canucks. - So you weren't invited.
So what do we do about that?
Give me another drink.
You clear out, or we throw you out. Now what's it gonna be?
Don't waste your time with him.
All right, we'll find another bar. Finish your drinks.
We'll finish your drink.
- Let's go. - You made a wise decision.
Now, wait just a minute.
Excuse me, but I'd like to clear up a little misunderstanding.
You see, the Canadians would be happy to accommodate you...
...but they can't because they're under orders, and they're not allowed to fight.
Am I getting through?
Where are you going to now, frog face?
You said nobody invited the Canucks.
But what burns me, big mouth, is just who the hell invited you?
Splendid, Rocky!
All right, Canadians, don't disgrace your uniforms!
Join the Yanks!
One for Millie!
Are you all right, Rocky?
Ten hut!
Break it up!
Good! Good! That was good!
Break it up!
All right! Break it up!
- How are you? - Doing fine.
What are you going to do about them? I tried to warn you.
I'll take care of it.
- Cardwell, Rose. - Sir?
Line 'em up.
Heads up in there! Come on!